What is Co-dependency?
Co-dependency is a dysfunctional relationship between the co-dependent and another person or persons. Co-dependents are rescuers, who become addicted to helping others and in turn enable others to become dependent upon them.
- Do you feel hurt or rejected when someone refuses your help?
- Do you put your own feelings last?
- Are you looking for acceptance from others?
- Has anyone ever yelled at you to stop helping them?
- Do you continue to give money to a loved one with an addiction?
- Does your self worth depend on how much others depend on you?
- Do you make excuses for those who do not take responsibility for themselves?
- Do you think a loved one or friend can’t make it without you?
If you have answered yes to any of the above questions, you may be in a co-dependent relationship, and in the habit of enabling others.
Are You Really Helping?
In essence, if you continue to rescue the needy people in your life, you are teaching them to be dependent. What will happen to them if anything happens to you? You are not doing them any favors and actually hurting them in the long run. The best gift you can give is to teach them independence, if you stop bailing them out they will learn to take care of themselves. Yes; sometimes it is painful to watch, but who is taking care of you while you are taking care everyone else?
What Causes Co-Dependency?
Co-dependency is caused by low self esteem and low self worth, a feeling of emptiness inside. The act of rescuing and helping others aids to fill that void inside and helps the co-dependent to feel whole. Co dependents need to be needed to feel good about themselves.
Is There a Cure for Co-Dependency? Yes
- Learning to build positive, healthy, self esteem.
- Learning to recognize what is your responsibility and what is not.
- Learning to identify and wean needy people out of your life.
- Learning to set healthy boundaries.
- Learning healthy detachment.
- Learning to allow the other person the “space to be themselves”
- Learning to love and accept yourself.
If you think you are a co-dependent, Deanne can help get you on the road to recovery. She will guide you through each step to discover what is making you feel co-dependent, and take you along the steps to independance for you and your relationships.